I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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