Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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