walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
