where am i from again
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
