yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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