if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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