he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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