you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
