Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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