you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
