Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
