We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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