I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize