is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
one two three fourrrrnication!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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