Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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