Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
