why didn't you poke me back
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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