New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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