love makes seman taste better
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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