i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
