Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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