So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
