I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
