The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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