guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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