This girl is more easily done than said...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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