so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
