at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
