Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
MIDGETS
????
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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