You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
