k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
is it fun? or sober?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
