hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
They have beer where we have blood.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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