My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
