he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
