i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
