I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
