Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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