Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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