Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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