You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
