Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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