i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
