i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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