College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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