i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
high people should be assigned attendants
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
