??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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