Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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