Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
