I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
