I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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