I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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