So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
