I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
