I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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