I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
