Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
