I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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