u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize
