Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
