I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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