I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
