It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
