All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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